Surviving the calm and embracing the chaos

Recently, I was catching up with a friend when she told me, “Things are going too smoothly, it’s unsettling”. This stirred a lot of reflection in me over the next few days as I tried to figure out why this was such a common feeling.

Many of you may be able to relate to my friend’s sentiment - finding the smoothness and predictability of life to be boring, even unsettling. However, we rarely hear the positivity in chaos. What I found myself asking was, ‘When exactly are we satisfied?’

There is a duality of being bored when things are going well and feeling overwhelmed when they are out of order. We perceive life as either not enough or coming at us with too much. This is the paradoxical mindset that keeps us from being present and acknowledging the here and now. When we find mundanity boring, we are seeking for change, disorder, something to surprise us. But, when things go unplanned, take us by surprise or disrupt the way we had intended things to go, we crave normalcy.

We live in a time where stability is glorified for peace and change is glorified for growth, but why do we find it hard to embrace both?

The value of discomfort

Change and unpredictability are great catalysts for growth and learning. There is great pride in looking back at past challenges and realising you have made it through each and every one. Challenges test our resilience in ways that the calm does not. We evolve and become equipped with the tools to navigate future challenges.

Recognising the value of comfort

If chaos builds resilience, does calmness have an opposite effect? No. The calm gives us a breather, a reset before we are faced with new challenges. Does this mean we should be worried when life gets calm, anticipating the next big thing? Also, no. The truth is, chaos and calm, discomfort and comfort, are both inherent to life. Comfort gives us an opportunity to appreciate our own resilience and find solace in our strength.

Seek balance, not perfection

Whether you tend to chase the chaos or the calm, I urge you to recognise that both will come. As humans, we will always be tested. But this will also come with growth and evolution. As humans, we will also always have moments of calmness. But this will also come with reflection and introspection.

To seek balance is to accept both sides of the coin. To harness this acceptance is to be present with the here and now, whether that be the chaos or the calm.

I hope this reflection has sparked some reflection in you as well. I hope, whether it is the calm or the chaos you are desiring at the moment, that you don’t disregard the present moment and appreciate it for what it is.

As always,

Ruchi.

Madeleine Stone