Gratitude and Reflection: Finding Balance in the Year’s End

Naturally, the end of 2024 and the approaching start of 2025 compels us to reflect on what we’ve accomplished, learned, and experienced. This process can feel bittersweet or even disheartening at times, especially if the year didn’t unfold as hoped. The balance of gratitude and honest reflection become essential - not to gloss over challenges and setbacks but to help us find meaning and perspective, even in difficulty.

Acknowledging the Tough Moments

The culture of toxic positivity has convinced us that end-of-year reflections and gratitude should hyper fixate on the wins only. Much of what you hear around this time of year urges you to look past the challenges and reminisce on the good you have experienced. While there is some ounce of usefulness in this practice of appreciating our wins, turning a blind eye to our losses is maladaptive.

In saying this, honest reflection isn’t easy. By allowing ourselves to reflect on all moments, we pay attention to the unmet goals and unresolved struggles. If we aren’t accustomed to that non-judgemental, open reflection, it can be quite difficult.

Processing negative emotions is critical for your wellbeing. Why? Well, avoidance of negative emotions can lead to rumination. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel what we feel, the feeling doesn’t go away, it builds up inside. On the other hand, if we allow ourselves to feel and reflect on difficult moments and emotions with self-compassion and non-judgemental observation, we understand and learn from them.

The idea that we should always “look on the bright side” is dismissive of the very real emotions we experience - especially the negative ones. Our emotions, including our sadness, frustration, and loss, are valid.

Reflection and gratitude are about creating space for both the acknowledgement of pain and recognition of opportunities for growth.

The Role of Gratitude

Honest reflection is not only the acknowledgement of our tough moments, but also the cultivation of gratitude for balance. In challenging toxic positivity, we need to avoid prioritising the setbacks, and instead make a conscious effort to reflect on our wins as well.

What does gratitude look like? If a significant goal went unmet, you may reflect on the effort you invested, the lessons learned, or the support you received along the way. Gratitude doesn’t put a band-aid over the wound and hope it heals. It widens our perspective and reminds us of the good within the bad.

Tips for Balanced Reflection

  1. Make Space for Both
    If you take one thing away from this blog - let it be the art of making space for acknowledging our setbacks and being grateful for what we have. It is not useful to embrace toxic positivity and turn a blind eye to our lessons, nor is it helpful to ruminate on our challenges and hyper fixate on everything that went off track.

  2. Avoid Comparison
    Year-end reflections can often lead to comparing ourselves to others, especially in the age of social media. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and what you see online is rarely the whole story.

  3. Reframe Setbacks
    For challenges that feel particularly difficult to reflect on, try to reframe how you associate it to your life. Instead of it being a failure, ask yourself what you learnt from it. This doesn’t erase the difficulty but gives it purpose.

  4. Celebrate Small Wins
    Even in a tough year, there are likely small victories to celebrate—acts of kindness, moments of courage, or simply making it through. These wins matter.

As you reflect on the year, know that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions. Gratitude doesn’t require perfection, and reflection doesn’t mean avoiding discomfort. Together, they can help you honour the complexity of your experiences, find meaning in the year’s challenges, and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose.

If this year felt hard, let that be part of your story—there’s no need to erase it or pretend it didn’t happen. It’s not about forcing positivity—it’s about finding balance.

With warmth,

Ruchi.

Madeleine Stone