Growing Pains: Why Discomfort is the Price of Growth
I often think about the paradox of our comfort zone. We are as comfortable as we can be when there is little space for uncertainty and the unknown. The other side of the coin is that the comfort zone feels uncomfortable because we feel stuck, restricted by the constraints of our own decision to stay put.
When you try something new, it’s normal to feel immediate regret. Maybe you signed up to the gym as a beginner and it’s only now dawning on you that you will have to go inside and be working out…in the gym. Or, maybe you’ve reached out and booked your first therapy session and you’re in the car, 30 minutes early to your appointment wondering what you’re even doing. Instead of feeling empowered, the discomfort of something new can feel awkward and overwhelming.
When we experience negative feelings and emotions, we are likely to attribute them to the new thing we are part of.
I’m way too embarrassed in the gym to achieve anything.
Therapy is awkward - it must not be for me.
We resist discomfort because we can’t see any good coming from it.
But here’s the thing: discomfort isn’t a sign you’re failing—it’s a sign you’re growing. That uneasy feeling is your brain’s way of saying, Hey, we’re in uncharted territory here! And that’s exactly where change happens.
Neuroplasticity: Your brain on growth
The beauty of your brain is that it is built to rewire itself.
This is thanks to neuroplasticity—your brain’s ability to form and reorganise neural connections based on new experiences.
Perhaps one of the most widely used analogies is the trail of a forest. Think of your brain as a dense forest. Now, imagine you walk a trail from point A to point B. During the first walk, the pathway will be covered with greenery. The more you walk the trail, the clearer it is to walk and the more familiar it becomes. The trail is your new habit, thought pattern or skill.
With this analogy in mind, yes, it makes complete sense to be afraid and uncomfortable during your first walk through a new trail.
The adaptive change we should make here is understanding that discomfort isn’t a red flag; it’s a growing pain. Your neurons are forming new connections, and with enough repetition, what once felt difficult becomes second nature.
Why we resist discomfort
Sticking to what we know feels safe. Much of our brains are wired for survival, and making changes for personal development is a choice we have to consciously make.
Your brain loves familiarity because it conserves energy. Change, on the other hand? It’s expensive. Learning something new takes effort, making mistakes sting, and pushing past self-doubt is exhausting. But without that discomfort, there’s no evolution.
To grow is to push past our comfort zone, face the fear zone, and embrace the learning zone.
Despite what our initial feelings tell us, discomfort is not the enemy—it’s a sign of growth. If you’re feeling nervous, challenged, or unsure, take a breath and remind yourself: this is my brain forging a new path.
Growth isn’t about feeling ready. It’s about showing up, despite the discomfort, until one day, what once felt impossible feels like second nature.
With warmth and encouragement,
Ruchi.
