Redefining self-care as self-discipline
With the rise of mental health discussions in popular media, topics like self-care have reached everyone. Whilst this should be celebrated, it is also worth considering and addressing the misinformation.
Self-care has become synonymous with indulgence. While spa days, comfort food and Netflix binge sessions are soothing acts, the broader and more transformative definition of self-care often goes overlooked: self-discipline. True self-care is about prioritising actions that support long-term well-being, even when they’re uncomfortable.
The reality of effective self-care
Self-discipline as self-care challenges the notion that caring for ourselves should always feel good in the moment. Self-discipline allows us to make choices that might not offer instant gratification. For example, skipping a late-night Netflix binge to get enough sleep might not feel luxurious, but the long-term benefits outweigh the instant gratification.
Delayed gratification is a concept widely studied and suggested to be crucial for both personal success and emotional resilience. When we are able to make small sacrifices today for significant gains tomorrow, we tend to adopt healthier habits.
Self-care in practice: discipline over comfort
Establishing healthy routines
One radical act of self-care is the decision and consistent effort in maintaining a routine that works for you. As humans, we are bound to experience life’s uncertainties. In these often chaotic days, some stability can offer self-care. Building routines around exercise, meals, adequate sleep, and social connection are some ways this stability can be achieved. It’s tempting to skip your daily walk after a rough day at work, but honouring the commitment to yourself reaps the benefit of self-respect and mental health betterment.
Setting boundaries
Saying “no” might sound like every people pleaser’s worst nightmare, but it is a powerful act of putting yourself first. Whether it’s turning down social invitations that drain you or limiting access for certain individuals, boundaries protect your mental health on your own accord. Like any act of delayed gratification, this can feel uncomfortable initially, but over time, it fosters healthier relationships and a stronger sense of autonomy within yourself.
Addressing and accepting emotional discomfort
For many, avoiding difficult emotions becomes a natural but rarely beneficial habit. Engaging in committed journeys like therapy, journaling, and/or mindfulness allows you to confront challenges and heal through them, rather than suppress. Self-care isn’t about escaping discomfort-it’s about learning to sit with it and grow despite it.
During high periods of stress, comfort and distraction can feel more appealing than structure and delayed gratification. However, the ability to deliver yourself meaningful self-care brings on a sense of accomplishment that instant gratification can’t replicate.
I encourage you to shift your perspective on self-care from indulgence to intention and watch it become a powerful tool for growth. I do not propose we deny pleasure, but that we align our actions with our personal values. Bubble baths and comfort food are valid when they exist alongside healthy routines, boundary setting and acceptance of emotional discomfort.
Next time you think about your self-care practices, ask yourself: Are these practices rooted in love and respect for my future self?
With warmth,
Ruchi.