You're not being rude, you're setting healthy boundaries
It’s that split second decision where you silence your own needs and attune to others’ more. You agree to something that will cost you your comfort, but you still can’t seem to say, “no”. Why does this happen?
Setting healthy boundaries often gets misunderstood because it involves turning down things that do not serve you. In the fear of letting others down, many of us end up letting ourselves down. Today, we’re discussing what a healthy boundary is, busting the myths, and looking at the benefits of incorporating them into various areas of your life.
What is a healthy boundary?
Healthy boundaries are those which foster a balance of peace and energy protection in our lives. The reason we put the word “healthy” in there is because oftentimes, boundaries can be confused with walls we put up between ourselves and others to avoid socialisation. Healthy boundaries are not there to shut loved ones out or avoid communication, they are placed to ensure we are well and comfortable in our own lives by deciding what does and does not serve us!
Misconception #1: Boundaries are selfish.
We live in a world where, unfortunately, living for ourselves has become a selfish act. To choose what we are/are not comfortable with and what we can/can not tolerate has seemingly turned into a horrible distinction to make. However, boundaries are a powerful act of self-compassion. They don’t make you treat others poorly, they make you treat yourself respectfully.
Misconception #2: Boundaries lead to conflict.
If a close friend or family member feels disrespected by your self-compassion, that is not conflict, it is a disregard of your feelings. Healthy boundaries will create change, but this change is implemented for the better!
Misconception #3: Boundaries are rigid.
Our boundaries represent what our current selves can/will tolerate at the given time. Just as we evolve, so too can our boundaries.
What areas of your life might you need to set boundaries?
Work/life balance
A steady balance between work and life keeps burnout at bay! Setting healthy boundaries to avoid letting your work overshadow the other aspects of your life also ensures that you have time to rest and recharge which is very important. Not only does recharging give your mental load some time off, you will also perform much more effectively with a clear mind.
Social boundaries
While a social life provides us with many benefits like having a solid support system, agreeing to socialisation at the expense of your own comfort and satisfaction is when it becomes a problem. With the easy accessibility of social media, it’s important to translate your quiet time into your online presence as well.
Family boundaries
In many cultures and households, family tends to be perceived as an extension of self. However, we are all different beings with varying capacities. As we grow and establish healthy self-care rituals for ourselves, its crucial to remember that you can set healthy boundaries with your family too. Remember, self-care is not selfish.
Healthy boundaries ensure a healthy you. They allow you to regain control of your time and energy which are incredibly valuable sources. In the midst of showing up for everyone around you, leave some time and energy to show up for yourself as well.
If you’d like to read more on how healthy boundaries can be set, don’t forget to follow our Instagram page: @themindfulpsyc
Warmly,
Ruchi.
