Imposter Syndrome: The truth about self-sabotage

You’ve put the work in, achieved the grand milestones and celebrated the small wins, yet there’s a nagging voice in your head whispering that you don’t belong here. That your success is a fluke.

This is imposter syndrome, a psychological thought pattern where self-doubt distorts reality, making competent individuals feel like frauds. It’s deeper than insecurity and rooted in a fear of being “exposed” as inadequate, despite clear evidence of the opposite. When imposter syndrome is left unchecked, it fuels self-sabotaging behaviours.

So why does this happen? And, more importantly, how do we stop it from holding us back?

Why do we feel like frauds?

Think of imposter syndrome as self-doubt on steroids. Not only do we feel inadequate, we fear that people will discover our inadequacy and “expose” it. As with anything, it doesn’t stand alone and can stem from a few key psychological factors:

Perfectionism: Those of us who need to see through any task with flawless execution are likely to experience imposter syndrome. Any slight hiccup can make you feel like you’re failing - giving rise to self-doubt and fears that your competence is either lacking or not of enough value.

Comparison culture: Whether it be with social circles, colleagues, family members, or even celebrities, we compare our lives to others’ and evaluate our own worth based on this.

Past conditioning: Our thought patterns and behaviours are largely influenced by the environment in which we grew up. If home life involved a lot of downplaying achievements and equating extreme hard work (often confused with perfection) with success, you may notice adult life comes with a struggle to accept your accomplishments.

The result? Self-sabotage. You procrastinate on important tasks, avoid opportunities, or downplay your success to prevent being "exposed." Ironically, this only fuels the imposter cycle.

Breaking free from imposter syndrome

What’s tough about imposter syndrome is that it stems from within - your thoughts. However, a reframe of this shows us that if imposter syndrome stems from what you tell yourself, then there’s a way through it. You don’t have to believe everything your brain tells you.

Reframe your thoughts

If you let it, your brain can spiral with a “I’m not good enough” narrative. Challenge it. Whether self-doubt is creeping into your parenting, work, studies, or relationships, remind yourself that you aren’t meant to have it all figured out. The words we use matter, and self-compassion is key.

Journal

This might feel like a standard piece of advice for any and all overwhelming feelings - but that’s because it is incredibly beneficial! When we ruminate on our self-doubt, anxious thoughts can take over and catastrophise the situation. If pen and paper doesn’t work, use your phone. If that doesn’t work, record voice memos. Don’t want to keep a record? Speak into the open air! When we bring our thoughts into existence, it becomes less of a task to challenge them.

Recognise that nobody has it all figured out

The social media posts you see online and compare yourself to? That’s someone’s highlight. And, highlights are part of reality, but they aren’t the entirety of it. Basing your evaluation of your whole self in comparison to someone’s highest point is unfair.

Separate feelings from facts

Feeling like a fraud doesn’t make you one. Next time you hear that little voice saying, “You don’t belong here,” pause and ask: “What’s the evidence?” Most of the time, there isn’t any.

Act like the person who deserves to be here

Because you do! Start showing up, taking chances, and acknowledging your growth. The best way to prove to yourself that you’re capable is to keep going.

Imposter syndrome thrives in silence and isolation, but the moment you recognise it for what it is - a faulty thought pattern rather than a reflection of your actual abilities - you take away its power. Growth isn’t about never feeling doubt; it’s about refusing to let that doubt dictate your choices.

You are not a fraud. You are capable. And the only thing left to do is believe it.

Warmly,

Ruchi.